What if life is a sad dream (part-2)..

 

To better understand this topic, you can read What if life is a sad dream (part-1) first.

                I just went into the washroom & fill up the bath tub and first put my feet in it, with my cloths & then laid in it with my mouth outside the water for oxygen. All the anger & grief flow out from my body with that cold soothing water. Then I put my face inside it..

 

What's the difference between tears & water,

Colorless, both are

But,

There is a difference of feelings in it,

Even if you are in water,

Still,

You can feel the difference

Between,

The water all around your body,

But the tears only in your eyes.

 

I stayed there until I got panic & then came out from it after sometime, changed my cloths & laid on bed to take some rest. I didn't replied to any text of Mam Shakeela's messeges. I wanted to, but still I didn't. The feeling, I was getting from the morning since I woke up, when I heard about her absentee, I thought it was going to be true. Once again, it was going to happen.

The thing from which I ran away the most, the bitter truth or lie, I don't know, is like going to be for one more time & The one I love in my life, or one of the people close to my heart was going to be.........

I woke up & it was 4.45 pm. Unfortunately, today I missed my 2 prayers. Maybe one of the reason my day was so much hard & boring. I lift myself up & offer Asar's prayer. Then I went outside, took a glass of water from kitchen & asked my mother, the thing which I do the most on such days,

"Shall we go to the graveyard?"

& she replied with as usual common answer,

"Yes, of course, why not?"

We went their. It was about 15 minutes away from our house. We went without taking any vehicle or on car. I took Surat Ya-seen & sit at the corner of my father's grave.

 

We have lost him 2 years back & still couldn't get through that incident. The reason I am afraid to lose my loved one's. Well, we say dua & pray for him. I put the hand on the head of father's grave & ask him to please pray for the peace of my heart, for me & for us. I kissed his grave's head & we came back home.

I put my scarf on my shoulder & check my mobile, angry emoji's from her. I replied her,

• Yeah, I am sorry.
• I was tired & couldn't reply.
• How was your day?
• I missed you?
• Xoxo💕

Then she replied,

• Are you okay?
• My day was the best.
• & I didn't miss you😂.

& like this we talked for almost 1 & a half or 2 hours. I feel like my mood was a bit of refresh now. Then after Maghrib prayer I asked everyone that today we will go outside & eat something. Of course they got agreed. They have to.

We went to a restaurant & ordered Curry Pakora & Kabab with Nan & a Coke, as I was hungry from the morning since I haven't took any breakfast or lunch so. After that we ordered Ice-cream with different flavors for everyone.

Then we went to a shopping mall & I bought new shoes for my university & a scarf, matching with my new dress. We came home & took one hour to settle everything & went to our rooms. I set everything for morning & went to my balcony. Stars, moon & sky, everything was so shining & bright.

Allah,

You have made everything in this world,

Every person in my life is given by you

I was stupid.

If you give something, then it is  your thing

& you took something, then it is also yours.

We are nothing.

Thank you for everything.

Bless my dad in heaven,

My family with health & wealth,

&

My heart with peace.

I came back in my room, close all the windows but curtains open, so that the moonlight was on my bed. I laid down on my bed & slept after an hour by thinking about the day.

Some call it depression,

Some emotion,

Some says, I am mad,

& to some I am moody.

If any person in your life,

Is a cheerful person

& if due to anything,

He/she doesn't behave the way he used to,

He/She needs some time,

For him/her,

For his/her peace.

P.s. To some extent it is true.

Thank you!

Stay tuned!